Anger, Guilt, Rage, Shame, Pain: Moving and growing through the layers

Body Electronics Intensive – Day 3 Transcription

Koh Phangan, Thailand – February, 2017

 

Nutrition and Supplements

Before we talk about the nutritional stuff, I want to talk a bit about neuropeptides. They are what your brain uses (for neurons to communicate) – proteins break down into peptides and into amino acids. And there are also what is known as neuropeptides. They feed the nerves and brains. So if you lack those you are not processing things fast enough.

So apart from your body changing, your brain needs to process it all, it needs neuropeptides. You get those from dark green things, algae and wheatgrass and stuff, so superfood supplements are very good sources of those.

But you have to be careful with supplements. Most supplements contain synthetics. A vitamin C supplement may have 500mg. But for a 500mg vitamin C tablet to come from natural sources it would have to be the size of a golf ball. Also, when I studied kinesiology, we worked with certain companies that knew how to make certain supplements that tested strong. What we found was synthetics always test weak. But if you had enough natural ingredients it would make it test strong.

But people like the high, synthetic dose, even though it doesn’t work. You will get far more actual useful nutrition out of a few berries than you would out of a bottle of tablets. So, natural ingredients are far more useful to the body.

Even synthetics that have a high content, it doesn’t mean you are going to use them. You see vitamin C is not just ascorbic acid. There are actually 47 compounds involved in vitamin C activity. Actual vitamin C is far more complex.

So, we don’t use vitamin supplements as they are always synthetics. Things like supergreens, with natural ingredients, will give you all the vitamins you need, as well as peptides, and those are far more important.

 

Anger and Guilt

Negative EmotionWhat I want to talk about today is anger and the things which come with it. There are thoughts you put in place where you don’t allow the anger. Think when there’s guilt. Some people don’t know how to deal with guilt. And when you don’t know how to deal with guilt you just turn it into anger. Because guilt is anger you don’t have a right to have.

Suppose I’d been expected to do something for you and didn’t do it, I can’t be angry with you cause I’m the one who did it wrong. But what I’ll feel angry about is that you asked me in the first place, I’ll be angry with myself, angry with you, angry with the situation. And if I don’t feel I have a right to the anger I’m going to feel guilty. So the guilt gets locked in place because it’s anger you feel you don’t have a right to have.

What you have to remember with any emotion is that you have a right to it because it’s only emotion. Emotions are emotions; they don’t have to be logical. If you feel angry, just welcome it.

The same with guilt. When it’s finally allowed, you will find it’s anger. So you only release guilt by letting it go back to the anger that you didn’t feel you had a right to have. Well it doesn’t matter if you had a right to it or not, it’s an emotion. Once you have felt it, it passes. So all the guilt you feel is basically anger.

So the whole concept that there are emotions that you don’t have a right to have has to be released anyway, because emotions are emotions. As human beings we have a whole range of emotions. But those don’t make you what you are.

You’re not a different person when you feel a different emotion one day and another one the next. You can be angry one day, sad the next, and loving the next, and you are still the same person. The emotions don’t make who you are. So any emotion is OK to feel.

That’s an important space to be in when you are healing – any emotion is OK. So if you feel guilty, and it turns to anger, that’s good – that’s how you need to release it.

Anger is one of the ones most difficult to deal with in this world. People don’t like it. And quite often in a chauvinistic world everyone expects women to be more emotional than men but even then it’s not real because it’s not that women are more emotional, they just have permission to cry. But you mix it with some anger and they don’t like it.

When a woman is being emotional they say it’s hormonal, it’s OK, but they don’t take into consideration what’s behind it, which is often anger. Anger is something people don’t like in this world because it makes you assertive. When you are angry and being assertive you can’t be controlled and walked all over.

When someone is saying ‘don’t be angry’ what they are really saying is ‘don’t be assertive, I want to walk all over you.’

So one has to consider the control mechanisms going on. Now usually when you are angry it’s because you are being assertive. You get pushed and pushed and pushed until you get angry and have to do something about it, usually it’s some aggression is what makes you act. So the amount of anger you need depends upon how much your boundaries have been trodden on.

If you assert yourself more easily then the anger doesn’t have to build up so much. But generally anger is there to make you assertive. When you deny it, it turns to guilt because you feel you don’t have the right to do / feel whatever you are doing.

People have these ‘rules’, you see, which are there for control. If you don’t follow the rules they will try to make you feel guilty. Usually these rules are about not allowing you to be yourself, not allowing you to respect your own boundaries, and then when you do it, when you feel angry for the way you have been treated, it turns to guilt because you feel you don’t have the right to be angry.

So when you get into the guilt you start recognising the complicated games that have been going on to stop you from getting angry. And the reason those games are there is because when you are being angry you are being assertive. You’re not being controlled.

So sometimes in this process you will have to use the anger. And now we come to the next part of it, which is rage. Now a lot of people who go into therapy find there’s a kind of rage there that doesn’t burn out … no matter how much you express it. People spend hours punching cushions but it’s still there. You can’t wear it out, it will wear you out first. Quite often it won’t go away because you need it to take your power back.

 

Rage

Rage is there when there is a big loss of power or worth. If somebody has taken your power, or torn down your self-worth, then you are like an animal, backed into a corner. It’s vicious. It wants to taste blood.

So when you are in the rage, that’s the part that wants power, there’s going to be an animal coming out fighting for survival. And the only way it will be satisfied is when you take your power back. So you need to know how to wake up the animal.

I mentioned already how you can draw a circle and take your power back, but when there is a huge power loss that’s often not enough. Sometimes you have lost so much power you haven’t got the power to take it back.

So the rage that has gone inside is what you have to waken, because that’s the animal. The trouble is when it’s been repressed because of society, that rage is turned inwards and it feeds off your energy. So when you are losing energy, and you’re cynical, it’s usually because there’s rage inside. That animal wants to consume energy, and what it’s feeding on now is you. It hasn’t been let out.

So what we do in that situation … think about your rage – if it were an animal, what animal would you think it is? It’s different for each person, but when you feel it you will find there is an animal there.

That animal has been pushed inside. It hasn’t been fed properly. It hasn’t been allowed to act. It wants to look after you, that’s why it came. It’s like a power animal gone wrong.

It might be separate from the power animal you are familiar with because it’s a more vicious one – this one really wants to take your power back. It’s been backed into a corner and it’s ready to taste blood. It won’t be satisfied until it rips someone to shreds.

It’s OK to do it in meditation – you don’t have to kill anyone in the real world – or in the illusion, rather, because this is the illusion. But you have to act in the inner worlds, it’s more powerful there. So you do a meditation, where you release the animal, tear someone to shreds and take your power back. It’s more effective than trying to do it in this world because this is the illusion.

You can talk to someone about the power loss but it isn’t going anywhere, is it? There’s denial and all kinds of justification. So you go into meditation, get your animal out, rip them to shreds and you take it back. You need to use that rage.

So go into meditation – or do it while someone is holding your points and the rage is coming out –  and you go inside and find this animal, tucked away, hidden in its lair, it’s been pushed away – and you see what animal it is and the first thing you do is feed it. If it’s a leopard you might put a big piece of meat out for it. It’ll come out and eat. Watch it. Put some more out for it – until it’s not going to eat you. It has to be pacified or it will eat you – it’s been eating you all this time so you need to feed it something else.

When it’s eaten let it come out so you can talk to it. Look it in the eye and behind the rage you will see a sensitivity and sadness as well. And you start to talk to the animal about why it came, and it will remind you of these big disempowerments. And you will begin to feel why you pushed it away, and how sad the animal is because it couldn’t help you.

And you make an alliance, let it heal and let it protect you, and take it back out into the world, find the people who disempowered you and let the animal loose. It’ll go in, tear them to shreds, leaving bits all over the ground and you can take your power back and the rage is released.

Rage that is denied will simply manifest as low energy and cynicism. Cynicism is not the same as scepticism – you need to be a bit sceptical because there’s so much bullshit around. Cynicism is rage turned inwards because you become hostile to things that might help you. It’s suppressed rage – turned against what you need to get your power back. Some of you might be hostile to the idea of me telling you to do this. That’s the animal acting as well.

Your animal won’t harm anyone in this world unless you want it to. It’s intention that makes a difference. If you intend to do it to release, you release. But if you visualise harming someone just to harm them, that’s a whole different matter.

 

Growth, Power, Shame and Motivation

A lot of people can’t be bothered to visualise something positive because they don’t think it’s going to work. And they are afraid to visualise violence because they are afraid it’s going to harm somebody. And yet positive thoughts are more powerful than negative thoughts. Why should that be?

The universe will try so support positive thoughts. When you put a positive thought out it wants to manifest. If you send a negative thought into the universe, it attacks it. You need a lot of energy to manifest negative thoughts.

You have to take power back because it isn’t of any use to the other person. Their ego wants power. It’s like combatative value. It doesn’t make you feel better to put anyone else down. The only value that is really useful is cooperative value – that’s real. When you put people down all the time it doesn’t give you power to create better. It makes you feel more powerful – but it’s cheap power. They can’t create with it. It just backs up the ego and doesn’t help them grow.

When people are stuck in ego and can’t get away from it they don’t grow. Power needs to be torn away from them.

Just like with shame, when you give it back – it actually helps the person to grow. A lot of people are afraid to give shame back to somebody because they think it’s not good for them either. But actually it is. Because once they realise it’s their shame they feel it again, and they can work on forgiving it.

I’ve had people in the past give shame back to their parents and their parents come afterwards, because they suddenly realise they’ve got a problem. Before they were dumping on somebody else they never felt it. And if you don’t feel it you won’t heal it and grow.

So when you take power back and give shame back, it’s not harming the other person it’s helping in their growth too. So don’t think you are being nasty when you take your power back or give your shame back. It’s part of the natural order. And you are giving them a motivation to grow.

A lot of people won’t grow until there is a motivation. There is a big problem in the world today because we all need to grow, but quite often we don’t grow until we’ve got problems. You need something to force you to grow.

This is why you have problems. You see we are all here to grow. If you grow because you want to that’s great. If you don’t, then you have problems to force you. If you need problems to force you to grow then you will always have problems. You’re not growing because you are not good enough – you are growing because you want to grow.

One of the biggest drives in a human being is for the revelation of secrets. Secrets of the self, secrets of life, secrets of the universe. That’s a real drive, because when you go there it gives you a real buzz. But that tends to get lessened when you don’t want to look inside because there is too much shame. You are afraid of what you might see.

So when you start having these burdens of shame, it affects the drive for the revelation of secrets so you stop looking and you don’t want to grow. So people are often afraid of where they might need to look, what they might find. But you are going to find all the horrible stuff so you can heal it. Because it’s all good in the end.

Shame – when you find it – has got to be healed or given back. People are afraid to look because they think they might find something they can’t heal – or can’t forgive. Forgiveness is a big one.

If you find something that’s ‘unforgivable’, you’re stuck, can’t move on – but what do you hold as unforgivable?  Because what you think is unforgivable, from somebody else’s perspective might be nothing.

There are certain reasons why we make it unforgivable, and it’s often down to our own choices. For example, you might have seen your parents do something horrible in their behaviour which hurts you, and you decide you will never do that – you would never be like that. And what happens is you usually take on the behaviour you have been suppressing, you end up like your parents and you can’t forgive yourself because you promised you wouldn’t. Because if you forgive yourself, then you’d have to let your parents off the hook.

So there are complications as to why we can’t forgive things. And once there is something you can’t forgive, you won’t look any more. That’s when the shame becomes a burden and you think you can never change. It makes you stop looking and so you can’t carry on growing until problems force you to grow.

Actually we should be growing because it’s fun – you want to grow because it’s exciting, for the revelation of secrets, it takes you higher, you feel good, you gain power. If you only grow because you have problems, then that’s something you need to heal as well. Because once you actually heal those problems you will be growing because you want to, because it’s fun.

So the healing goes beyond just healing. So you are healing because you are sick. But you got sick because of the shame you pushed away and you stopped growing.

And when anger goes, it turns to guilt if you don’t want it. And it becomes rage that turns inwards, when you can’t find a way to express it. So we also have to allow anger – and all the things that go with it like rage.

What is a worry? You see, worry is future guilt. What you are worried about is that later, maybe tomorrow, there will be something to be angry about, and you won’t be able to forgive it if something goes wrong. Worry is future guilt – it’s future anger you won’t have a right to have.

So when you deal with your anger, you also deal with your guilt and worry – you stop worrying. How many people worry? When you go into it, you will actually realise it’s future guilt.

We can all make mistakes, but we solve them, we fix them, we move on. But worry is where you don’t have a right to the anger you feel about it. So when you deal with guilt, you also deal with worry.

 

So as we work through the process, and we have gone through the numbness, you start getting to the juicier stuff. After the apathy comes the grief, the fear. Anger is a big one because it’s the most suppressed in this world. When we are angry, we are assertive and change things. You stop people treading all over your boundaries and telling you what to do and controlling you. You stop actually creating the life you want.

So when you start that (expressing anger?) you will have lots of people trying to control you. It’s like when you have a bucket of crabs … one crab tries to climb out and the others pull it back. People are all stuck in the same conditioning, so they want to pull you back again. So when you start to change you will have more people treading on your boundaries. So when you start to be assertive, you want to stay there. And once you have dealt with your rage you are more able to deal with all of it because you have your power back.

The boundary is there to show you where you begin and where you end. That’s what boundary really means – knowing what you want and what you don’t want, what you will tolerate and what you won’t. Once you have drawn that line, that line stays, so people can’t push you around anymore.

If you let people walk all over you, you will have lots of people doing it. And if one day you become assertive, you have lots of people who don’t like it: they’re so used to you being an easy target.

So anger is often one of the most difficult ones to face in society. Because everybody is telling you not to do it.

A lot of people like pressing your buttons, they like making you angry. That’s a power game as well. Some people like to make you angry – but that’s also a power game because you’re out of control. If you are asserting your power using anger, another way people take your power is by controlling that trigger. So some people like to make you angry because it makes them feel more powerful – they’re in control of your emotions.

So being assertive and taking your power back doesn’t mean you are angry all the time, it means you have strong boundaries. Once you rage has been released as an animal it manifests as assertiveness – not necessarily aggression.

So once the animal is released you see it walking ahead of you clearing the way. If you go walking down the street with a tiger in front of you, people tend to move out of the way. You don’t have to be angry anymore. People sense the tiger there, or whatever animal you’ve got – and they won’t tread on those boundaries. It does become automatic, it’s a new energy field – the animal’s come out, it’s no longer suppressed, it’s assertive.

Look how a cat is. They have very good boundaries, so they don’t need to be aggressive, they’re all fluffy, loving, but you do anything they don’t want you to do and the claws come out. Very clear boundaries. They don’t have to wait until they’ve been pushed and pushed and pushed, until they’re angry, they let you know instantly if you are doing something they don’t want. So if you have your animal walking ahead of you people sense it, they think ‘this person has got boundaries and I don’t want to get slashed’.

So when the animal is awakened and the rage has been used to manifest assertiveness. It’s all good stuff.

So this is something to think about when you start getting power stuff coming up in your sessions. If you feel rage, feel low energy, because you have been trodden on, go and find the animal and wake it up, feed it, bring it out, let it take you back to all those people who disempowered you.

During this process, you will often find people who has disempowered you and there’s a real rage – and the rage has to be used. The animal has to be awakened and used, it wants to help you. So sometimes it’s a process of talking to the animal, because you have to understand how you suppressed it and how it feels. It came there to help you and you wouldn’t let it act, you pushed it away. So it’s very happy once you let it our again and it can go and kill somebody.

 

Pain

So after rage, the next thing we get to is pain. Moving up the scale, high up the scale now. Pain is actually a synergy of separation and longing. When you separate from something you long for it with pain.

There are different kinds of pain for different kinds of separation. First you have spiritual pain when you separate from source, from that oneness. Then you have mental pain, where what you separate from is the understanding, the meaning, the wisdom. You have emotional pain when you separate from love and belonging.

Pain is all about control. When you are out of control and you long for control you end up hurting yourself.

So how do you fix that? You end the separation. If you are not separated anymore you’re not longing any more, are you? That separation began with separation from source, and when you move up the scale and end up in oneness you end all pain. You feel it physically, because all physical pain is a manifestation of something else going on. Any time you had an accident is when you felt out of control. But out of control is an illusion – if you create your own reality how can you be out of control? You’re creating it. When you come back to that, the out of control feeling vanishes. And when you go into the feeling of being out of control and realise you are also creating that, you’re not out of control anymore.

But you don’t have time to do that when you are in the middle of something, in the middle of a problem. But when you go through pain, when you go through physical traumas in your point holding, through the memories, there will be a point where you actually recognise the lack of control that was in your life at that time. When you go through injuries and things, there may be a lot of layers to go through, you might have to open your mind many times, and each time you hit a deeper layer.

First there’s the physical trauma of how it felt, the panic and everything that went with it, the pain. Then you remember that when this happened these other things were going on in my life, this is the emotional situation. I’ve seen some pretty complicated ones. One woman I was working on who was in a wheelchair had broken her back – and – this is a big thing to forget – when she broke her back she was climbing out of a window because her boyfriend was trying to break her door down with an axe. It only came up after a few sessions when she restored the memory.

We can suppress things very deep when we get stuck on one layer of the trauma. But it actually might have many layers. So with physical injuries there’s always an out-of-control situation. There’s emotions around it, too, there are fears and things. And it’s when you go through those that it actually heals. Sometimes a person goes through a physical injury, but the body still isn’t fixed. But as you go through more layers the body carries on healing. And the Kundalini finally rises and melts those blockages away, all the calcifications, when they’ve gone through all the layers. Because it’s the control issue they are releasing.

That’s what it comes down to – the physical body is an illusion after all. When you are changing inside, the physical body is changing as you get to the cause. So when you get to the out-of-control issue that caused the accident, that’s when the body finally heals.

It’s not enough to go through the pain of the injury. In cases where there has been paralysis and so on, the Kundalini has to rise to transmute that. That will actually break down the calcifications in the bones and the spine and regrow the nerves. But that only happens when there has been a change in consciousness.

So releasing pain is one level of consciousness, but the change isn’t complete until you release the control issue behind it. And the control issue is an illusion, because you create everything, so you’re not out of control. You begin to see the thought patterns that created that.

So how many people have got physical injuries to deal with? So, when we get to those, you are going to go through the pain. We hold the painful points on the side of the injury. Somewhere around the injury there’s calcification of bone, there are a lot of changes in the body.

When you get to the thyroid gland you are ready to deal with calcification, because the thyroid deals with calcification in the body. It’s controlled by something in the parathyroid called thyrocalcitonine. That’s what you need to release to break down extra calcium.

Things like arthritis are also to do with calcification. There is anger in the body, causing the bones to calcify more. So where there’s an injury, you go beyond the anger into the pain. So when the thyroid is working the body is ready to decalcify. That’s when the body can heal the injury, so you are going to move up the scale. So we clear the glands first, then you can also work on the injury.

Arthritis and rheumatism are all unexpressed anger, rage and guilt. Now an injury is a situation where you are out-of-control, but arthritis builds up in the body everywhere – it’s not to do with any particular injury. The anger is stored in the thyroid, and there are control issues there as well. Because when you are really angry what you want is control. Angry people tell everybody else what to do. They’re bossy. They try to control things because they feel out of control.

Also anger when it’s suppressed does have this powerlessness, it makes people look for cheap power, which is why they get so controlling. When you are not in control of your own life you try to control people around you. It’s cheap power.

All the thyroid problems are power issues. The anger is not being used properly. It’s not shaping your destiny any more. So when you really go into the thyroid and work with it you’ve got these powerlessness issues.

So, again, we don’t say any emotion is wrong. If somebody has got control issues we don’t say ‘stop doing that’ – we say ‘feel it’. Feel the need for control. Then you need to feel what’s underneath it – the fear of being out of control? The fear that you are out of control and you are trying to hide it? You have to get to that juicy stuff to actually heal it.

Behind the control issues there are other feelings, you see. So you have to feel it – welcome the need to control – till you get to what’s behind it. The fear. The weakness. The lack of motivation.

Quite often we use negatives to motivate ourselves. Guilt can be a big motivator. Some people get up and go to work in the morning because they would feel guilty if they didn’t. They feel they ought to be doing something or they feel guilty.

Then you end up having a conscience that’s based on guilt. Because society loves to control you through guilt. And they call this conscience.

But conscience, when it’s healthy, should not be based on guilt. It should be based on dignity, which is quite different. The reason I don’t do a particular behaviour is not because it makes me feel guilty but because I am better than that. The reason I get up in the morning is because I have got something worth doing in the day. When society robs you of your dignity they use guilt to control you.

We should look at conscience as well in this process – what motivates you. What keeps you in your boundaries. And you will soon realise there is a huge difference between dignity and guilt. With a conscience based on dignity, you will realise that you get up because it makes you feel good and everyone else feel good. That’s to do with the Cooperative Value.

So when you get to these control issues, recognise the type of value you are working with there as well, recognise what’s beneath it and you release the original cause of it, which can be lack of worth where you’ve been robbed of it, or powerless, thinking you can’t do anything – which goes back to when you were powerless cause someone was controlling you.

When we were children our parents were in control – we weren’t. So we all know what it is like to be powerless. And later in life you don’t want to feel that any more. And sometimes it keeps coming up. And this is where it gets complicated because we start having dual creations and dual identities where everything exists with its opposite and you can’t have one without the other.

For instance, if I feel powerless and I decide I want to do something about it, and I don’t want to feel powerless again I keep working to make myself feel more powerful. And the power is there because I felt powerless. And later when I try to be powerful the powerlessness keeps showing up. I’ll be doing really well and something else makes me feel powerless – it won’t go away. So the more I go into the power, the more I feel the other side, because they were both created together. And this is often at the root of the most difficult problems people can’t release. One has to expand into the whole duality of the feeling of it.

Now when you get a really complicated pattern that won’t go away there’s usually layers to it. Because that duality got covered in so many layers, because every time you tried to heal one side the other side keeps turning up – it works almost like the emergency lighting that comes on when the power fails. Just as you solve one problem, something else switches on, it won’t go away.

There are many types of duality here – powerless and being powerful is a common example, because we all went through powerlessness as a child because we weren’t in control, and a lot of people spend a lot of time trying to be in control after that in a very unbalanced way.

This is also why people create melodrama. You may notice that when you start trying to change your reality along come all kinds of disasters that you can’t control. Who’s creating those things? This is where the ego tries to do something that you are not in control of. This is an example of how these dualities work. If you feel powerless and start working on how to be powerful, the powerlessness will turn up somewhere.

And when you start believing it, that’s when you start losing your path. You will notice when you wake up to all the New Age stuff about how to create yourself and all that, and you go out to create the best stuff and something is going to go wrong, you can’t control it, it’s a bit of a paradox isn’t it?

People tell you you are in control, and then talk about the changes that are going to come – all the threats of war and destruction and everything else that is going on. That’s the ego playing its little melodrama games. Because you don’t quite believe you are in control.

You create it all. These feelings you had of being out of control as a child, these will just vanish if you go in there and feel them. And quite often they are stuck in these dualities. So you can’t just discreate one half because it’s now a dual creation. So in this case when you expand into it, at the bottom you are going to feel both – both powerless and being powerful. Feel them both and discreate that duality.

What will happen many times over your lifetime is you start to discreate this powerlessness and you have many layers coming up. Times when you don’t know, times when things are unknown. When we don’t know we often make conclusions about the unknown. People say ‘I don’t know why this is happening – it must be from my past life.’ And they act from that point of view even though it’s not real.

What you are going to realise is also that ‘I don’t know’ is also a creation. So experience that one. Simply experience not knowing. When you welcome that you get to the next layer. Every known is separated by an unknown because there are layers.

You feel like you don’t know why, accept that feeling – you don’t know. Then you go further and further back. And at the bottom of these difficult creations you find this duality. Two things that are opposite, one is back the other up all the time, creating the other one, because you didn’t deal with it in the first place.

So one can observe how many times you do this in life, when there’s a problem, you create something that opposes it. Funnily enough, affirmations work the same way. And how many people do those? If I am feeling weak and say ‘I’m strong, I’m strong, I’m strong’  I haven’t discreated feeling weak. And now I have got a dual creation.  And I will feel strong till the weakness turns up.

So affirmations are not useful unless you discreate the problem first. You are creating dualities. That’s something to think about.

To discreate you must expand into it, you must experience it. When you welcome something you expand it until you have finished feeling it and it goes away, it’s done. It’s gone forever. You don’t need to make affirmations to oppose it.

When you make an affirmation and there is a problem there you’re making a dual creation, which will have layers and be hard to deal with later on. You reverse this process when you start expanding into things and feeling them.

You see people doing this in therapy too. They start to feel something, then they start making affirmations before it’s finished. They won’t go the extra mile and finish it. They want to quickly put something positive in place – people are so afraid of the negative. But actually nothing is really negative, it’s just an emotion. The judgement’s your only problem. It’s OK to feel grief, it’s OK to feel hate and anger – don’t make them go away. We’re too quick to want to replace it with something positive.

But actually any emotion you suppress becomes a negative. A lot of people get ill because they suppress love – but is love a negative emotion? Anything that is expressed is positive. Anything that is denied becomes a negative.

Anger makes you assertive – fear is there to avoid things that are going to harm you. When you are in fear you have adrenaline going, puts you in a fight-or-flight mechanism which puts you in peak performance. You’re going to run faster or fight harder. Fear can also mean ‘Friendly Energy Announcing Risk’. It’s useful stuff. It’s there for a reason.

None of these emotions are bad. Don’t make them go away. Don’t try to replace them with something that is going to make a dual creation. Everything you feel, just feel it. And when you’ve felt it, it’s finished.

And then you can find something else to fear. Every time something is threatening your boundaries, it can make you assert yourself. None of these emotions are wrong. So don’t try and make them go away. If you feel weak, look at it. If you feel jealous, look at it. None of these things are actually wrong. So don’t try and replace it with a positive, because it’s not a negative in the first place.

The creation of dualities is a big part of the problem we are in. And this is where the root of pain, because we are creating the duality that this pain is somewhere I don’t want to be. You’re saying I wasn’t this, but not that half. Then you are in pain.

So as we go up the scale, and we get to the pain, this is where we are creating the dualities. So stop thinking half of it is wrong. So don’t be tempted to make an affirmation when you find a negative thought. You have to finish discreating what you don’t want. When you look at it, it wasn’t a negative in the first place, it was just a feeling.

You see the beliefs we create don’t come from the situation. They come from the meaning we give to them. So long as you are judging, you create limiting beliefs, because you think something is wrong and you can’t deal with it in some way. You think it has to go away because you haven’t got the mechanism to deal with it properly.

So we are not looking at affirmations or beliefs – they vanish when you go deep into the cause and embrace the situation and experience the feeling. Beliefs can be useful if they are expansive – but most beliefs are limiting when we look at them. If there’s no belief there is just openness – you actually can do anything. You are not looking at limitations of any kind.

You often create beliefs inside other beliefs. People keep saying I can do this say they think they can’t. If there’s no concept of belief in the first place, then you can explore and create. So we are not trying to create positive beliefs with affirmations, when we release all the limitations, all the feelings that have been suppressed, there is freedom left because you become creator. You are faced with the vastness of the universe and you realise this is all illusion. Therefore, you don’t even need to create with your thoughts – you will just be doing it.

So although it seems complicated, it’s getting simpler as well. Because all the complications come from how we create our problems, the simplicity is what’s healing it – feeling, welcoming, expand into it and discreate it. Just realise in that process there’s layers. You create these dualities and give layers to it.

So what you do when you are going into a problem which seems impossible because you have been there a million times, you simply keep expanding into what you’ve got now, and when you get to an unknown, just accept ‘I don’t know’. Embrace that, too. And the next layer will come. And you can go from unknowns to unknowns because there are many layers. And at the bottom you get to its duality, where you set one thing up against another. And when you embrace that duality, it all goes. You ended the difficult problem that would never go away.

Now we talked about pains in the body that manifest from injuries. How many people have pains in the body that are not due to an injury? It’s not always an injury, is it? Many things cause pain to the body. And there’s many ways you can describe it in terms of energy, like in acupuncture where it is called stagnant chi, and becomes painful. Well, first there’s stagnation, it’s not flowing. Why is it not flowing? It’s fears and control issues again.

Not letting it flow. It’s like how we relate to life – not letting it flow because we want to control things. The painful energy in the body has several causes. It can come in with unconsciousness, because ghosts in the body create pain. But there is also psychic control – there’s too much mind control going on. The body is trying to say ‘I don’t like this. There’s something in me, and this energy is not mine.’ It can be ghosts, or people trying to control you – and I am afraid in life there is a lot of control out there. Even electro-magnetic. A lot of the mobile towers have this technology added to it to put out these thoughts to make you behave in a certain way. So there are a lot of energies in the body which are not yours.

These often come out of the unconscious as well. They will trigger the anger, because something inside you knows that there is something that is abusing it, trying to control it. And this ends up as pain. And when you are in pain you are out of control. Sometimes you don’t even know you are out of control because you don’t know what’s controlling you.

So we are going to work on points. Sometimes it’s good to work on meridian points because pain runs along certain meridians and it’s not just in the area where the pain is felt. Sometimes you have to work on the whole meridian. And out of that will come lots of unconscious forces. Cold winds coming off – which are the ghosts and the control mechanisms, the implants, and also the situations in which you feel powerless because you set up these dualities.

So there are injuries and there are all the pains that are stuck in the body but you don’t know where they are from, the unknown. Usually when you think about the unknown you are creating conclusions about the unknown. You have all kinds of ideas about why it hurts, don’t you?

 

Question: implants?

There are crystal implants put in to control your thinking. There are so many around now, smaller than the tip of needle. The technology for them is patented with some of the Japanese companies, little microchips, implanted into people all the time to control your thinking. There are companies making these chips. They spray the atmosphere with chemtrails, you breathe it in, it’s in the body, and with HAARP, they’re causing waves to affect the structure. And people have these chips growing in the body.

Luckily there are simple things to understand about how it works. You see the mind control they actually put out is on the frequency of a submissive monkey brain. They found with monkeys, three ones being dominant, being bullying, and there are others being submissive. And they take the vibration of that brain and put it out in these waves to make us submissive and obedient.

The thing to remember is we are not monkeys. A lot of people are like monkeys because they do things automatically. As soon as you think of yourself not being a monkey, you are actually growing, these things don’t fit any more, they’re not the right resonance.

And the implants will burn out anyway because they don’t fit in your energy field any more as you reclaim all your power for yourself.

Q: Where in the body are these implants

All over. Some of these self-assembling ones will attach to the nervous system so they are all over the nerves. So your whole nervous system is set to obey the leader rather than listen to yourself. And this explains the tendency people have – rather than trust themselves they are going to trust the people in charge.

Q: How do the ‘dominant monkeys’ among us maintain immunity?

In many species, there’s an alpha which is the dominant one. But the human race is more complex than that – we can all be leaders. We can all take things in a certain direction that inspires others, so we can all be leaders. It’s not about competing any more. So we can all be ‘alphas’. If work on that dynamic, those things don’t touch us anymore, because we are not monkeys.

Now everybody is looking for somebody else to take responsibility and be the leader. Then they are in that resonance. If you are responsible and creating your own reality you are immune. Responsibility is a big key here. You see people have a leader because they don’t want to be responsible.

Being responsible for your own creation means also trusting yourself rather than trusting others. All trust starts with self-trust. Otherwise how can you know if somebody else is trustworthy? You can’t go trusting indiscriminately. That’s where you get conned cause you don’t know if they are really trustworthy.

But quite often you learn to trust a leader – big mistake. Because the leader is the one who has taught you to trust them.

We have to understand what trust really is though, because the problem here is people don’t know how to really trust. In most New Age thinking people are telling you to trust, but they aren’t telling you how. Or what trust really is.

To understand trust, we have to look at things that pretend to be trust and know the difference. When you are trusting the one in charge, the leader, what you are really saying is you want to trust but you don’t want to be responsible. If it goes wrong, it’s their fault and not mine. The fault and blame thing comes in again. If you create it and it goes wrong it’s all your responsibility. So people get caught up in fault and blame which is not what responsibility is about.

It’s about the ability to respond. If I do something wrong, rather than blame someone, it means I can respond and do things differently, fix it, explore it and find how I can create it better. There’s no point in guilt or shame or saying I’ve done it wrong, I’m no good. Responsibility is not fault or blame, it’s the ability to respond.

If you trust somebody else to do it and they get it wrong it’s their fault. All the blame goes on them, I’m free. So although you might feel free of the guilt, you’ve lost your power. So what people often call trust is simply avoidance of responsibility. Trusting the one in charge, trusting someone else to do the job.

It can also be manipulation. If I say, I trusted someone else to do the job, they got it wrong, I’m giving it to you now, you’re not going to let me down are you? That’s trying to guilt you – ‘you’d better not let me down’. It’s manipulation.

All these things pretend to be trust, but there are little games going on. What trust really requires – it requires intuition, it requires competence, it requires responsibility, and it requires knowing what a trust situation is. In what situations do you need to trust?

If you’ve got the answer there’s no trust involved – there’s certainty. With trust there is uncertainty, which is why you have to trust.

In a trust situation there is always a positive and negative outcome – and you don’t know which it’s going to be until the future. The next important thing to realise is that the negative is more negative than the positive is positive – but you genuinely expect the positive. That’s what trust is about.

You can say ‘I’ll buy a lottery ticket and I know I am going to win.’ Well the negative is that I lose one pound – and the positive is I gain millions – so that’s not a trust situation. You’re not really trusting when you buy a lottery ticket.

But if I want to tell you all my secrets because I want to get it off my chest, and I am trusting you won’t tell somebody else – the positive is you don’t tell anybody. The negative is you tell everybody else, my secrets out, I get embarrassed. The negative is more negative than the positive is positive. That’s a trust issue. If I genuinely expect the positive then it’s trust, if I don’t then it’s not trust.

If I have trusted you to do something before and you have let me down, it’s probably not really trust. That’s more overloading responsibility, passing the blame and all that, those games.

A trust situation has three criteria – there can be a positive or negative outcome, the negative is more negative than the positive is positive and you genuinely expect the positive. That’s trust.

It’s going to involve intuition, it’s going to involve competence – you don’t trust somebody who’s not good at their job, do you? And you have to trust your own ability to trust other people’s competence – so it starts with self-trust. So often when somebody is putting somebody else in charge it’s not really trust.

New Age people can twist this saying you’ve got to trust me, you’ve got to learn how to trust. But you can’t trust somebody who is going to rip you off, after your money or something. Trust yourself first. Then you can trust your ability to trust other people.

To trust yourself you have got to be responsible. If it goes wrong it’s nobody else’s fault but yours. But it’s not a fault – it’s a learning. If it didn’t work this time you work out how to fix it. That’s responsibility, it’s not the same as blame.

So where were we?

When there’s pain in the body there’s control issues going on. It can be hidden in trust issues, it can be hidden in manipulative games, it can be hidden in dualities because you wanted control. So these are the kinds of things you are going to face in the process as you go over these pains. There might be layers to it – you go through pain, there’s control issues behind it, dualities at the bottom of it.

So keep welcoming a go through those layers. Physical pain – you welcome that. Begin to be aware that you were out of control. How many people have had a problem in their life that won’t go away? It’s quite common. Everything else goes OK in your life but that one doesn’t. Stuck problems that never seem to be fixed. That’s because of all the layers. And at the bottom there’s a duality.

And welcome not knowing. That’s a creation, too. Don’t look for an answer – there isn’t one. A lot of people ask questions which don’t really need to be asked. And giving an answer doesn’t really help. And for stupid questions there are only stupid answers.

So if you are going through something and there’s no answer, welcome that. Don’t know what’s happening? Welcome that. I don’t know why I’ve got this problem – welcome that. Go through the layers – there is a reason underneath you get to.

This need to know is a big problem. That’s a duality as well: I don’t know so I need to know. Some people want to know everything because they don’t know something. It might have started in childhood when you didn’t know something and you felt really lost so you want to try and know everything. All the great scientists started out that way. When I was a kid I wanted to be a scientist. It was only when I got to university I found the reason why and didn’t have to know everything anyway. Then I stopped being a scientist.

You can go for a long time when you hold these dualities. Sometimes something positive can come out of it – but you can’t know everything.

So it’s OK to say ‘I don’t know’. It’s part of the mystery of life. When you accept not knowing you get to the next layer. Remember not knowing and the situation and the creation of not knowing and all the emotions there were and you start getting somewhere. So you have to go into the emotion of not knowing. Trying to fill that space with an answer is avoiding the feeling.

What does it feel like not to know? Sometimes that’s painful itself. At school you got hit for not knowing. There are times in life when it causes pain not to know. That’s why people seek answers. Not knowing is painful. So go into that pain and feel it, release it, feel what it’s like not to know. There is a release in not knowing. Then you move onto the next layer. Many of the layers are conclusions you’ve made that are not true. Your thoughts might be the cause of the problem, because you didn’t know. So you are going to go through all the unknowns and all the conclusions you made about the unknowns.

If I’ve been having this problem all my life and nothing’s worked, and I keep thinking about what it might be, I might start expanding there until I get to the unknown … if I think the problem is there because I’ve got ‘bad karma’ from a past life or somebody’s cursing me, I might feel that and then feel suddenly ‘I don’t know’. That’s the next layer. And after I go into that I will find another layer, and it wasn’t really what I thought it was. And you go through all the layers to early childhood where you formed that first duality. When there was something you wanted and you tried to make the opposite. You felt weak so you needed to be strong. You didn’t know so you needed to know. You felt in lack so you wanted to be rich. There are many dualities which both exist at the bottom of our problems. And they won’t go away until we actually discreate the duality.

It’s no different to what we have been doing – it’s just more layers. You welcome, expand until you feel the whole thing and then you let it go. It’s just a longer process because you find layers to expand.

So there’s a problem in your life, and you feel the anger and frustration, and you expand to the end, it falls apart, all it means know is it goes on a bit longer. Because after that one, suddenly there’s an unknown and then there is something else. Then another unknown and something else. And eventually there will be a dual creation – there was this AND this. So you keep expanding till you get there – till the last thing is gone and it’s all discreated. Then that serious problem is gone in your life.

There can be pains too when you have ‘incurable’ problems – not because they are incurable, but because they are ‘unforgivable’ if you look at the cause or because there are more layers to it. And the problems been there a long time because there are these conclusions made about the unknowns.

The pains in the body which are not to do with an injury are control issues. They can be entities. There can be outside forces here. The times you have given power away to others.

The root of having those things in the body that are not yours is that you got stuck in this pattern. You gave away your power to others, you gave away responsibility and therefore the blame. You trust people in charge because if things go wrong it’s their fault not yours and they have to fix it. They never do, so why do you bother?

Blaming, when you look at it, doesn’t get you anywhere. If you see the cause of your problems as somebody else hurting you, you have to wait for them to stop. If it’s you, then you can stop. Suppose you have a problem to fix – your ex-wife hates you, your boss won’t give you a reference, your parents have disowned you – are you going to ask them to fix your problems? What hope have you got? It’s far more useful if it’s you creating the problem, then you can fix it. Cause the other person isn’t going to do it.

So it’s not useful at all to put responsibility outside of yourself. And this is what we all learn to do in society because somebody has to be in charge. And we have to obey them, therefore we have to trust the one in charge. And we get in the habit of looking outside of ourselves for someone to take responsibility.

So when you let go of the need to put responsibility outside of yourself, you will get to a lot of these pains. Because it comes down to you creating it. You’re not trusting anybody else. You’re taking responsibility yourself. You’re not giving away power, you’re not letting stuff come in to control you. That’s when all the cold winds come out, all the implants, the control mechanisms and everything.

So when there is pain you’re going to work on those painful points, and work through these layers to expand into these dualities. So if there’s a pain or a pattern and it’s been there a long time, there are many layers that won’t go away and duality at the bottom of it. They do go away when you get there. Even the ones you have had all your life.

These things will come up in the pointholding. You experience the layers and expand them until you reach the edge and you are not in it any more. You realise that this is my creation, and it’s gone emotionally, and your life changes too. You can do this as a conscious process on anything you like. It sounds a bit abstract, but when you come to the practice there’s the expanding, the disassociation then there’s allowing it to discreate itself.

Sometimes there is labelling as well. You reach a point of disassociation where you label without judgement. You’re on the edge of it and no longer emotionally involved. If you are judging you are still in the emotion. If I define this thing as a big pile of shit, I’m still in the emotion about it. Or I can give it a label to describe it – oh, it’s a dysfunctional relationship. And now I have stepped outside, I see it’s my creation and I can discreate it. So we go through emotions to get to that point where we can label it without judgement. That’s the point of disassociation. And after you have gone through all the layers and come to the bottom of it there’s the duality to define – oh, I’ve got a dual creation between weak and strong. Discreate it. That’s the final part of it.

Or there is the health thing. A lot of people spend all their lives trying to be healthy – doing the right things, eating the right foods – but there’s a duality: every time they are healthy suddenly a sickness turns up. The duality is the need to be healthy because they’re unhealthy. The ‘unhealthy’ creates a duality – as a child you were ill, and you didn’t want to be ill again, so create the duality there.

Persistent problems tend to have a duality at the bottom of them. When you understand that it gets easy. A problem that was there all your life suddenly goes. Gone for good. When you get used to the process it’s easy – first you expand, feel the edge, discreate.

 

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